Not Ready for Algonquin Real 'State is pleased to offer a charming, quaint, cozy studio hovel, located in the most prestigious quarter of scenic Silver Spring, Maryland ("the Paris of central southeastern Montgomery County"), through August 25 (or longer, pending the immediate promulgation of enhanced INS quarantine standards). Unit is convenient to street corners frequented by only the most discerning narcotics dealers and prostitutes and is itself familiar to the local constabulary, members of which are often seen drawing colorful chalk figures on the sidewalk outside.
- Refrigerator fully stocked with "bearded" vegetables
- Wall-to-wall carpet has "historic" stains
- Home enjoys "singular" odor
- Tasteful decorative artwork features "Kama Sutra Zodiac" wall poster (spectacular under ultraviolet light!), stuffed accordion-playing frog, classic (and surprisingly clean) vintage enema inserter, along with hundreds of bumper stickers given as prizes in an obscure newspaper humor contest.
RENT: Highly negotiable, cash only, with deep discounts available to those who are willing to pay in smaller-denomination bills. Interested parties contact NRARS Rental Agent and Numbers Runner Brian Broadus