Style Invitational Week

When We're LXIV

WINNER : Mike Elliott

... in which you were asked to construct your own contest from a mix-and-match menu of formats, subjects and limitations, allowing 64 possible combinations.

And the winner of the buck grunt call:

(A short poem about NAFTA and its relationship to pending minimum-wage legislation in the style of Dr. Seuss, that also contains an analogy, an aphorism and a sentence beginning with "Did you ever wonder why," as well as references to an undergarment, a household appliance and a 19th-century event, while committing an unfortunate factual error, executing a clever double-entendre and including a statement that would absolutely enrage Marisleysis Gonzalez)

Did you ever wonder why
The lowest wage is not so high?
It's the fault of Uncle Sam.
Am I angry, Sam? I am!
It started very long ago
With a man named James Monroe
Who made us one with other lands
--With peons and their outstretched hands.
James began the paycheck-steal.
An act of Congress nailed the deal.
And sired the monster that is NAFTA.
(Can't you hear the Mexicans' lafta?)
And now that the populace panics and panics
We bring in bureaucrat budget mechanics!
The boys in the press give this barely a mention
As one Cuban brat distracts their attention.
And now our poor wages NAFTA will gnaw
Which just goes to prove that clever old saw:
"Government's like a bad laundry machine:
It goes round and round, yet our undies ain't clean."

See the entire contest*
(until moves the link--AGAIN)

*Denotes external link. What--do we have to draw you a picture?