... in which you were asked to take any word, put a portion of it in "air quotes" and redefine the word.
And the winner of the genuine hair shirt:
Di"agnostic"ian: This doctor is just not sure what you've got.
See the entire contest*
(until washingtonpost.com moves the link--AGAIN)
*Denotes external link. What--do we have to draw you a picture?