Some competitions seeing Loser ink in 1997:

Competition # 895 (12/22-29/97 issue), random lines from a movie courtroom:

This is my courtroom, and I'll decide who's out of order--and you, sir, are out of order.
-- Kevin Cuddihy, Fairfax VA

Your Honor, I would request a direct answer to a direct question.
-- Sandra Hull, Arlington VA

This is highly irregular.
-- Jean Sorensen, Herndon, VA

Competition # 894 (12/8/97 issue), define a person of fiction or fact whose name is altered by a one-letter addition:

VICTOR HUGGO: long-winded yet romantic clown.
-- Sandra Hull, Arlington, Va.

KNIETZSCHE: potato-head philosopher who proclaimed "Spud is dead."
-- Jean Sorensen, Herndon, Va.

Competition # 893 (12/1/97 issue), opening scene tailored to an actor or director:

Scorsese: Joe Pesci steps from behind a big desk with a baseball bat, hits a MAN standing in front of the desk, then kicks him repeatedly. A MAN enters from the right and says: "Mr. President, your meeting with the Joint Chiefs of Staff begins in five minutes."
-- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge VA

Competition # 891 (11/97), sitcoms overlooked in the fall lineup:

"RAISING GOLD -- Dave and Jennifer begin the arduous process of molding their young daughter into an Olympic gymnast. Stars Bart Conner, Kerri Strug."
-- Jean Sorensen, Herndon VA

Competition # 879 (5/19/97 issue), devise and describe best-selling books:

DICK SPOTS JANE--A pop-up primer.
-- Mary Olson, Springfield, Va.

Competition # 878 (5/5/97 issue), horrifying invitations:

ELECTRONIC EMPRESS (SYLVIA) AND NAUGHTY BOY (SETH) INVITE YOU TO A CHAT-ROOM BRUNCH, HOLIDAY INN, EXIT 10A, SPECIAL GUESTS: QUICK HANDS AND THE KEY STROKER.
-- Jean Sorensen, Herndon, Va.

Competition # 876 (4/14/97 issue), names of a cloned person, place or thing:

WEMUS
-- Mary Olson, Springfield, Va.

THE PILLSBURY DEUX BOY
-- Sandra Hull, Arlington, Va.

Competition # 875 (4/7/97 issue), items from a catlogue for the upscale old:

BIFOCAL WINDSHIELDS
-- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, Va.

SITTING BULL -- Hundreds of made-up excuses for grandparents tired of baby-watching.
-- Jean Sorensen, Herndon, Va.

Competition # 874 (3/14/97 issue) name and describe a new scent:

NONSCENTS -- Unperfumed for the Self-Effacing
-- Michelle Fowler, Waldorf, Md (aka Sandra Hull, Arlington, Va.)

L'AIR DU TEMPS -- A Long-Term Fragrance for the Short-Term Worker
-- Sandra Hull, Arlington, Va.

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